Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My cat gives me a boner
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
