I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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