wat bout pragnant strippers??
I puked a lego.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I supernannyed him into submission
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
