you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
