Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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