One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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