What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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