I bet he comes in French.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He called his prostate his "boner button".
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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