Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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