Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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