My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
