Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
