He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
