i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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