I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
