Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He has the fingertips of a God
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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