I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
