Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
