i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
