so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
