i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
