doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
