maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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