so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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