I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
false alarm. still invincible.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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