Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
bring money and cleavage
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
