dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
