I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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