I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
