so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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