hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
