u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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