you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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