its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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