I accidentally burped into my bong.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
