turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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