He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize