I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
