yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
