.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
