what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
