He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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