Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
