Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
