Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
