Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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