Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
