I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
