dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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