Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
