I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Even my vagina gasped.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
