yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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