Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
