It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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